I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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