Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
