I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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