She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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