I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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