she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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