But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize