So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We are two peas in an std pod
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
