I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize