I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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