i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
