I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
