Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
