That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
