I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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