you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Success! We fucked roommates!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
