try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
