it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
