Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
