South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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