quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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