i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
