News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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