Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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