watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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