4 words: hood of his car
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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