so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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