I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
