it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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