Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize