did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
