roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
