Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
