I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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