We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize