i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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