He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am spending my child support on dildos
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
