I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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