the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
