Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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