You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
