Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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