I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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