do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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