smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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