the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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