i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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