Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
