i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
