Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize