Apparently you make a good broom.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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