No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
