She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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