all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
