true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
