I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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