maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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