There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
