woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
