They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
