I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize