There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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