it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize